Friday, October 14, 2011

Internal conflict

The cover for Pizza Boxes on the Floor.
I spent some time working on the test project that I plan on putting up on Smashwords today.

I did this instead of taking more photos of my wife's jewelry for her Etsy shop, Celtic Soul Jewelry and Pottery.

The result?

Yes, that is right. I feel great guilt for actually spending time working on my own business.

It is something that I have fought for years, this alarming tendency to feel guilt whenever I put my own concerns and needs before those of other people.

I used to blame it on my upbringing, but that is unfair to my family. After all, it is not like I haven't had twenty years plus to learn to become a selfish b******. The fact that I have not overcame the problem is probably a good indication that it is actually something deep inside me that is broken, something that no amount of familial programming hardly affected at all.

I sometimes wonder if other writers feel this way.

Probably not. After all, most writers are much more sane than I am.

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