It is time to consider reference books

Once again, it is time to mock my spam mail. This first gem of a sentence is supposely from Paypal:

A strange ip from a different location was recently login into your Paypal account and we have decided to limitate your account on our ongoing effort to protect your account and our relationship, we monitor your account for possible fraudulent activity.

Limitate? Is that actually a word? (Yes, I am too lazy to look for my dictionary.)

Here is another gem of a sentence from some crime commissioner:

Although he has being arrested and put to jail, now laid with Financial action task force custody in Paris de France.
Can we charge you with a crime for abusing our eyes with your murder of proper verb tenses? And I am not sure what the last part of the sentence is supposed to say, so I am guessing a charge of kidnapping sense of meaning is in order too.

Here is a gem from someone who needs a stylebook as well as a grammar lesson:

The agreement reached between the united state of America governments and Nigeria Government under Goodluck Ebere Jonathan,The President Federal republic of Nigeria agreed to release US$1.5M US dollars to you been part payment of your Inheritance / Contract Sum.

Once again, I would like to thank spammers, phishers, and cons for making my English sound so much better. Keep up the good work of abusing the English language for blood and profit.