Tentacle Sex Fiends

That thing on Trump's head is a Tentacle Sex Fiend.

Something that one notices when one writes erotica, especially after this spring's Paypal fit over the Forbidden Four, are the weird things that other erotica writers are hacking out.

One of these weird things is Tentacle Sex. Yes, erotica involving tentacles (demonic and/or alien), especially slimy tentacles and dubious consent. Isn't that bordering on two of the Forbidden Four?!

At first, I thought that it was just a Lovecraft fan taking their Lovecraft fetish to a new level. But then I noticed that more than one person was writing about tentacle sex. Ok, maybe there is more than one writer out there with a Lovecraft fetish, I thought. Then I noticed more tentacle sex show up in the Smashwords front page display--enourgh to make me curious.

So last night, I decided to punch in "tentacle sex" into the search form at Smashwords (400 plus in the results), Barnes and Noble (between 400 and 100, depending upon how refined your search is), and Amazon (about 400 results). And there are a couple of dozen writers who seem to specialize in this sub-genre, with a half dozen or more tentacle sex ebooks apiece. More telling is the fact that the prices seem to be solid at $2.99 for three or four thousand words.

Ok, I understand why the writers are writing this stuff. After all, I write one of the Forbidden Four...because, well, people buy the stuff, and I have cats to feed. (In fact, it was the realization that someone was getting paid to write one of the Forbidden Four that got me started as a professional writer.) As a writer, occasionally you write something as a test...to see if there are some sex fiends out there who will like your tasty erotica offering.

And if you make enourgh, you write more of that type. Your focus as a writer tends to go when the money is...especially if you are good at writing a genre or sub-genre (even if it does not personally turn your own crank) and the pay is decent. But in order to sell the stuff, there has to be readers.

So my question, given my search results, is: Who are these tentacle sex fiends?!

I mean, based on my search results, there has to be quite a few of them. You wouldn't get that much of this stuff up in the five years that ereaders have been around if there wasn't a fair number of them. Could my neighbor be an alien tentacle fan?! My doctor?! The bag-boy or bag-girl at the local grocery store?! How about the cop at the local station house?! Is the world filled with these tentacle sex fiends?!

Of course, the bigger question is should I attempt to write a tentacle sex story myself to test the market. What?! I am supposed to be classier than that--who did you think that you have been reading? Miss Manners?

After all, I have cats to feed; and I have already proven that I really have no pride left, thanks to my empty wallet.

(And before you ask, no, I will not advertise any tentacle sex offerings here...I have my silly rules about not advertising most of my more interesting work--call it a small town sense of shame. Only wholesome fiction and esoteric commentary gets advertised here.)

Now available on Barnes and Noble

Shakespheare's Monkey is now available on Barnes and Noble.

Revised cover for Pizza Boxes on the Floor: The Collected 2010 Hearthstone Articles.

Shakespheare's Monkey, a collection of my short-short fiction that I wrote a few years ago is now available on Barnes and Noble for $1.99. It took me awhile to get it up on B&N because I was having trouble with creating a linked table of contents--now, that I have learned the trick, I have to go fix a couple of my previous ebooks to the improved table of contents type.

Sometime, before the first of the year, I plan on assembling and uploading the 2011 collection of Hearthstone articles (Bad Monkey); also possibly the 2012 collection (Lunatic with a Soapbox).

Also available on Barnes and Noble is Pizza Boxes on the Floor: The Collected 2010 Hearthstone Articles (99 cents). In 2010, I started to write a monthly column for the Hearthstone Community Church's newletter. Recently, I had the chance to fix the table of contents. While the metadata and sample are out of date, the cover has switched to the new cover (I lost the original file, and Smashwords recently upped the suggested cover size), so I presume that it is actual the version with the fixed table of contents.

Remember that buying books from me helps support the cat on the cover--he likes the really tasty expensive food. Be kind to kitty--buy an ebook from me.