How to annoy a published writer (one in a series of a thousand ways)

Something that gets on my nerves is getting writing and marketing advice from non-writers. The other day, a local friend of mine was over at the house, and I talked some about what I am currently working on.

("Icarus: In the future, a thousand people live and work in outer space. They depend on Earth for supplies. What do they do to survive when Earth goes dark?")*

So they tell me that I really should look at a link that a mutual friend of ours shared about "getting published." I tried to take the route of "Can I at least write one of the books first?" as well as "I am a hybrid writer--I have been on both sides of the business--I think I know what I am doing, and quite frankly have already decided how Icarus is going to be released (as well as the other projects that I am working on)." They sent me the link anyways.

And they had to dig to get to it. (The post was buried deep--deeper than I was willing to go looking.)

Turns out that the link was to a free seminar on "How to use a book to generate new leads for your business." And considering I have no desire to be the head of an international magical Order, or a world renown fortune teller, completely useless to me. Maybe if I wanted to become an expert on mental illness, it might be helpful--but still the process of writing a book and using it as a business card to make money as an expert does not appeal to me.

I know that he was trying to be helpful, but "I am not a writer--I have no desire to be a writer--yet I am going to share advice anyways" just annoys me. I would like to think that my thirty-four years of dabbling in the business (I wrote my first dubious erotica story in 1984 and got paid a whole twenty-five dollars for it) has taught me something. But there are loads of well meaning friends and critics who tell me otherwise.

Please, for heaven's sake--please, don't give me market advice, if you are not a writer. It just annoys me, especially when it turns out to be the hook for a paid consulting service.

Concept art for the cover of Axe Murderer of Titan.

[*I am going to be using a new pen-name for this series--Michael Ramalia.]