Trump robbed of ill-gotten gains (or Trump shady money laundering business)

Crime alert! Best-selling author and American Presidential candidate, Donald J. Trump has been robbed of royalties from a Barnes & Noble purchase totaling $55,055 on May 10, 2016. That is right--the royalties from over 3,500 copies of the hardcover version of Crippled America: How to Make America Great Again, or from over 5000 copies of the renamed paperback, Great Again: How to Fix Our Crippled America--have been robbed from Trump. The purchase was made by the Trump campaign to put the best book ever (better than the Bible) into the prize/goodie bags at the National Republican Convention.

It is just a great big shame that people think that they can get away with robbing Trump. Not only is he robbed of royalties, that lying hussy Hillary Clinton, who lies so much that she has to be a Terrorist Mexican Muslim, plans on trying to rob him of the election. The next thing you know Mexico is going to rob him of payments for the wall they are going to build to keep themselves out of America.

The alleged robber, the Federal Election Commission, justified the robbery by saying that Trump has so much money, he won't notice the loss of....however much royalties he would have gotten from a $55,055 sale....which is more than one dollar, and probably less than $55,055 (see how good we are with math--just wait until you see us examine Trump's tax returns). To add insult to injury, the FEC said that “It’s fine for a candidate’s book to be purchased by his committee, but it’s impermissible to receive royalties from the publisher. That amounts to an illegal conversion of campaign funds to personal use. There’s a well established precedent from the FEC that funds from the campaign account can’t end up in your own pocket.”

Oh, wait...Trump might not be the victim here...here is Mad Uncle Morgan with the latest update.

Orange Again--How to Fix White America--Cheeto-Faced Ferret Wearing Shitgibbon

In a blatant bid to be the only Presidential candidate ever to make money during a Presidential campaign, rather than after it--like all the other poor candidates do--Donald Trump turned a blind eye to his campaign spending $55,055 at a Barnes & Noble on May 10. At no point were the words "money laundering" uttered by a Cheeto-Faced Ferret Wearing Shitgibbon, which is rather odd given that this was either a failed attempt to do so, or a rather ham-handed attempt to get the book back onto the best-seller lists.

One assumes that the publisher would have given the campaign discounted copies of the book, perhaps even some free copies. One also assumes that Trump had already brought his required number of copies; but given his long-held habit of not paying his bills with his own money, it might have been a wild attempt to get proof copies into the hands of unemployed monkeys.

(Yes, that is right, famous celebrities are required by publishers to buy their own proof copies and farm out the work of proofing to any random friend or customer that they can corner--it is how big book publishers justify not using their own editors, who typically threaten to throw famous authors out of the thirteenth story window rather than having to actually read the dribble that your typical celebrity thinks is interesting and/or earth-shaking. After a famous author fails to corner enough humans to edit their book, they typically farm the job out to thousands of random monkeys for bananas on the dollar. The principle is that a thousand monkeys randomly doodling with red ink equals the amount of work that one depressed over-caffeinated editor can do.) 

In his defense, the shitgibbon declared his opponent, Lying Hillary Clinton, "a grifter" which campaign is nothing more than a "scam." (Please note that these words have been used by Trump at some point in his campaign, and we are just using the Fox News principle of "Any words spoken by a politician can be used at any time in connection with any news story because the American people are too dumb to fact-check things before they share them on Facebook.")

And now for a closing word from our sponsor: "Remember to vote Orange in 2016--otherwise, some woman is going to continue using the policies of the 2010s, instead of the 1950s political policies that made this country white great. I make great political decisions, and my policies will be the best. I only consult with the smartest people when I need to make a decision. Mainly myself. I consult with myself a lot. Because I am really smart. Consulting sounds so much better than saying that I talk to myself. Orange 2016!"

Back to the past

Mitt Romney wants us to go back to the good old days.

One thing I have noticed about people is that they really want to go back to the good old days when America was king of the hill.

And this includes Mitt Romney, who as President Barack Obama noted, "Governor, when it comes to our foreign policy you seem to want the policies of the 1980s, just like you want to import the social policies of the 1950s and the economic policies of the 1920s." And then there was the Navy and military comment where Romney complained about the number of Navy ships we have, as well as our low number of airplanes--obviously the numbers are the only thing that matters to Romney, not the fact that current technology can blow anything from 1916 and 1947 right out of the water. As Obama noted, "We also have fewer horses and bayonets because the nature of our military has changed."

So what does this have to do with writing, besides the fact that the Republicans are most likely to make my bread and butter writing illegal (because no one should be reading erotica)--well, it reminds me of something else.

There are a whole bunch of people who seem to think that the writing business is still the same writing business of the 1950s. I am amazed at the number of blogs and articles that I read that are focused on finding an agent or getting a legacy publishing contract.

We have moved away from paper publishing and legacy publishing. Today, writing has changed. Today, writers are writing ebooks, and are successfully making livings while being self-published.

Yet we are still getting writing advice that sounds more suitable for the 1950s. And trust me, I am going to scream the next time someone suggests that I send something to a legacy publisher...because I could get an advance on my royalities.

I have actually consider digging through some old writing magazines and books, and talking about how the advice does not necessarily hold true today; this is provided that people quit repeating the same advice on the internet (unlikely, right?).

But I am not sure that anyone would read such a series...because it involves dealing with things as they are in the present, and how they might change in the future. We are not supposed to embrace change. We are supposed to be putting the genie back into the bottle--because everything was so much better in the good old days.

September 11th



Image courtesy of Brian Nieman and adopted by the Library of Congress for their 9/11/01 exhibition.

Ten years ago, the Twin Towers fell in a terrorist attack.

And I suppose that I really should write something about it.

(Beyond the article about how 9/11 affected me that is still awaiting approval on one of the online writing sites---it could be weeks before it goes live at the pace that they are moving---but that was more about how the terror attack affected the business that I was working for at the time and affected my decision to go to college.)

But honestly, I was more deeply concerned about the Columbia school shooting (or any school shooting for that matter). School shootings affect me more emotionally than the events of September 11th ever have.

I guess it is because I have studied too many wars. Senseless deaths happen in all wars. Entire cities are destoryed periodically in the name of idealogies and terrority conquest.

There is also the little fact that I was born on the anniversary of the German invasion of Poland. I was raised hearing stories about the horrors of Nazi Germany and what happened in that conflict.

For me, outside of the reactions of people in the local community, the events that happened in New York City that day ten years ago are remote. Sure, I am reminded of it every time I have to go through a security checkpoint (most of which are laughable when you actually have been taught something about security measures); but beyond that for me, 9/11 was a bizzare act in a rather strange war, one that the United States started decades ago.

(Forgive me, I am a history major. I have seen enourgh to convince me that there are some real complaints to be lodged against the United States about our actions in the Middle East before 2001---I just wish that there were other ways to address the wrongs that the United States did without having to blow up and kill innocent people. And if you really want to hear about horrors, read up on the Crusades.)

It is the school shootings that cut me to the bone. I understand the envirnoment they happen in. And I understand how mentally ill someone must be to commit them. For me, school shootings are an act of terror---bombing buildings and civilians are just acts of war.

I am not saying that we should forget 9/11. It was a tragedy.

I am just saying that I did not have as strong of an emotional reaction as others had to it.

It makes me wonder if I have been writing about non-humans for too long.

What would my guidance counselor say

 I sometimes wonder what my guidance counselor would say about my career choice today. Back in high school, my goal of becoming a writer was not encouraged. At least, not by anyone in a position of authority.

None of my career choices were thought highly of. I remember one day I told Thomas Wooley, one of my high school teachers, that I joined the army. His comment was at least honest---"Is the army out of targets?"

I am not sure what he would have thought of my goal of becoming a writer. Due to factors beyond my control, I was not a member of the yearbook or school paper groups. Wooley oversaw both of them.

If Wooley would have told me that I was wasting my time trying to be a writer, I might have believed him. But the subject never came up with him.

It did come up with the guidance counselor. They steered me towards the army. That worked out real well. Obviously, they thought that I was always going to be a mere cog in the machine.

(Depending upon the day of the week and the moon, my account of my worth as a potential member of the military varies. We will never know for sure---I left during boot camp when my father died in a truck accident.)

Today, I have two questions for my high school guidance counselor. Is aiming to be a writer such a bad choice in a world where there is three hundred applicants per job opening? And do you still have a job?

Let me show you my weiner

No, it is not time to mock Representative Weiner, who is doing a good enourgh job of that on all his own this week. No, it is time once again to mock my spam, those junk emails that make me go Huh?! Today's winner was an email that said that I could see photographic proof that a certain male enhancement treatment actually worked. Ok, I suppose if I was in the market for such things, perhaps that would be something that I would be interested in. But...and it is a big but...I do not want to see the mutant member that was attached to the name of the sender...which just happened to be a woman's name. I am not reprinting the name, just in case it is a real woman, who decided to actually take this medicine and now has photographic proof of the size increase. Nor was I willing to click on the link to see the proof. The very thought of a enhancement treatment that effective scares me. 

Yes, I used to write trash

Today, one of my friends commented about a link that one of his friends posted (hey, it is Facebook---this is how news travels nowdays). It was talking about the possibility that maybe exposure to pornography is not as bad as some people would like us to think it is.

I am not sure if it is or not. What I do know for sure is that I did a few rounds writing pornography when there was still a print market for it (the days before the birth of the internet). So I would like porn to have some redeeming social aspects.

Now, I am quite sure that some people are shocked that I will admit to this---openly where every future employer, friend and relative might see it.

First, I am a man...of course, I have been exposed to pornography.

Second, I live in the United States...of course, I have been exposed to pornography.

Third, I am a working writer, in pursuit of the happy buck...therefore, of course I have written and submitted pornographic stories. I cashed checks from this particular type of writing. For me, it was a job.

Would I consider writing pornography in the future? How much is someone willing to pay me? Honestly, a large enourgh paycheck and I am willing to consider writing anything.

I think that any employer who is considering hiring me as a writer will understand that I have done this. And they will not care. All they will care about is can I string a sentence together. Yes, I can.

As for my friends...well...if they are real friends, they already knew this. And any so-called friend who is shocked and decides to not be my friend because of some of the stuff I have written in the past, and possibly in the future, are not actually friends. I am not sure what they are, but friends they are not.

(I think most of my writing friends will definitely understand. Especially those who make their living though the pen.)

As for my relatives...do I have any who have not disowned me already? It is hard to be concerned about what my relatives think when they have already used their last Trump against me and utterly failed to convince me to confirm to the limits of their opinions about right and wrong, about I should and should not be doing. In fact, I do not think that there anything that I could write that would not meet with their disapproval.

For those who are curious to read the article that I am talking about, it is Porn: Good for us?

Ego attack number 3772 or why I suspect that I will never have to serve on a jury

Earlier this week on Monday, I was at the courthouse. I received one of those delightful jury duty notices.

This was actually a postponement from last year. The court had asked me to show up a couple of weeks into the fall semester, I replied that my winter break started on such and such a day, and that I would be happy to serve then. For those who are tracking my bad personality problems, you probably want to note that not only was I unwilling to make time to have coffee with anyone (though my version is that I was not actually asked), I was also unwilling to take part in the legal system at the start of the semester. Obviously, I think that I am the center of the universe.

Anyway, I figured that I would sit there until noon, reading The Answer, then go home and write. That is what I have done on all other previous jury duty days.

I was wrong. My juror number was actually called for the second batch of possible jurors. "Can you repeat that number?...Oh, that's me."

I am not sure what I sounded like at that point. The lady behind the counter said that I sounded eager. At this point, I might have been. I have always wondered what it would be like to serve on a jury.

My enthusiasm did not survive the day.

The judge thought that the jury would be selected by noon. It wasn't. Only round one was done by noon. I was there all day.

Somehow, I managed to survive round one. Hey, I am as surprised as you are. We can all name a dozen things that make me less than the ideal juror.

Turns out that they were more concerned with people who had sympathy or hostility towards immigrants. Either a positive or negative feeling towards them allowed one to find the door quickly.

I am neutral about the situation. I figure that each immigrant, legal or not, is a potential citizen. My ancestors were immigrants who decided to hightail it out of a country when the going got really bad, so who am I to throw stones at the current immigrants.

The other issue that the lawyers were concerned with were weeding out those who felt strongly about identity theft.

Based on the questions and when various people were excused, my imagination conjures the following story: Immigrant, possibly illegal, brought some fake identification that turned out to be based on someone's real information, so that they could work in this country. I am not sure if this is what the charge really was, but I figure that it is a good guess.

I survived until final jury selection.

I knew that I was going to be rejected as a juror when someone else cited something I said. That is one of the hazards of being a former restaurant manager; you end up knowing things like why immigrants are hired (they are cheap, and more likely to do jobs than native-born Americans protest doing), and the difficulties involved in being able to catch fake documents. Being citied meant that my opinion might carry more weight than it should.

It is not the only possible reason for me to be rejected. I started out eager to serve on a jury, and I had admitted that openly. That probably looks like suspicious behavior. I am also loud and confident.

But based on the sequence and pattern of those excused during the final round of jury selection, I would have to say that there was another reason for the lawyers to give me the boot.

The first person that the persecution got rid of, the defense wanted to keep. I figure that this person was the persecution's idea of the world's worst juror, and the defense's ideal juror.

Then the young, inexperienced, and those who admitted that they occasionally go with the crowd was showed the door.

Here is where the beginning of my ego attack can be traced to. Turns out that I was not the only media member pulled in, there were two others. (We also had a high number of school teachers, and one university professor.)

Earlier I was joking with one of my fellow potential jurors that I guessed being a freelance writer was not the crime I thought it was. I said because both me and the next person I am about to mention were still there; I did not know about the third media person until round three.

So after the bottom of the barrel was kicked out, they showed Ed Stein to the door. For those who do not know who Ed Stein is, Ed Stein is a political cartoonist who used to work for the Rocky Mountain News. He still does work online. (Note that he has been called to duty several times, and has never served on a jury yet. Go figure.)

The next person to be excluded was Sam Hill from Alice 1059, one of the local radio voice talents (does anyone use the term "disc jockey" anymore?).

It was right after these two were told that their service was done, that I was informed that I too was unwanted on this jury.

As I said this is an ego attack. I am sure that my sister would tell me that I am delusional. That being an internet and college newspaper journalist is not cause to be excluded from jury service. But my ego loves the pattern. I am in the same category as Ed Stein and Sam Hill---Cool!

I am sure that my sister will remind me that I am not important, special, nor in any way a real writer. But we will see in the future if I ever serve on a jury. I am betting that I won't ever serve on any jury as long as I am a freelance writer.

Claiming my blogs---Technorati ranks

I slipped over to Technorati today, and realized that I still had some blogs unclaimed. And some of them are blogs I occasionally think about updating. So I put in my claim form for them.

(I do not claim my blogs on MySpace [which I no longer upadate] or on LiveJournal; they are wastelands as far as I am concerned. Same goes for my blog on Multiply.)

So as of now, my Technorati ranks for my blogs are:

1,112,328 for Gleamings from the Dawn (my blog about Golden Dawn). Interestingly enourgh this is also the rank for the now hidden lulu (MDE) storefront blog.

1,603,173 for Musings from the Pen (this blog).

And my now newly claimed blogs (with absolutely no authority behind them) Dreams of TARDISes, Warp Engines and Stargates (a science fiction blog that I plan on posting Doctor Who fan fiction to...someday when I complete the stories) and Bag Full of Tricks (a political blog that I really should consider updating more often) are at 3,197,294.

Remember to vote

I would like to remind everyone that is registered to remember to vote Tuesday. This election, no matter who you support, due to the issues is a very important one.

Funny quote: Palin--columnists

Here is a funny quote I read in connection with Sarah Palin be set up as the scapegoat if McCain loses:

And so he chose Palin. Is she really a diva and a whack job? Could be. There are quite a few in politics. (And a few in journalism, too, though in journalism they are called “columnists.”)

Gee, I have been called a diva and a whack job...can I get a column?

Money in science fiction

I started out wanting to be a science fiction writer. There are still days when I dabble in it, mainly those days when I am sitting in class trying to figure out how I am going to get hired by anyone with a degree in literature.

A few years ago, I read an article about what you named the currency in science fiction indicated a lot about the economics of your fictional world. (I would love to be able to cite the author and title of the article, but it has slipped my mind completely.) The example from it that sticks in my head was the "Golden" which indicated a world that went back to the gold standard.

Today while reading the financial articles on MSN, I came across a term that a columnist has been using to describe our own monetary system: Xera.

The exact quote is:

Xera: The dollar is in need of a name change. Xera is a combination of: (a) Xerox -- for the piece of Xerox paper that it is, (b) lira, which in the past was one of the world's chronically weak currencies, and (c) most importantly, the fact that it sounds like zero. Which is ultimately where the Xera is headed.

The scary part is that it is true.

But I digress; it got me thinking about naming money in science fiction. What you name your money in science fiction says a lot about your world.

For instance, in Star Trek we do not hear much about money, at least in classic Star Trek. We know that flame gems and tribbles can be traded, and once we hear Scotty making a joke about his pay, but it was not until the Ferengi come along that we learn of latinum (something that can not be generated by a replicator; ahhh, no printing money for the Federation). There is something to be said about a society (Starfleet Command) where its members care more about starships than they do their paychecks.

In the TV series show The Prisoner, they had work units. The most important inhabitants of the Village, including Number Six, did not seem to work---exactly what that means is unknown to me.

Of course, we must not forget the most commonly used fuctional currency: the credit. Fictional is the sense that it really does not exist, despite the fact that we use it all the time at the shopping mall. Nevertheless, when it comes time to write my next science fiction story, I think that I am going to use the Xera. I hope that Bill Fleckenstein doesn't mind.

Dan Carlin--politics and history

Recently, I have been listening to a lot of podcasts. This is mainly due to Toni having to do Spanish homework, and needing me to be relatively quiet (I am never perfectly quiet or still--it might or might not be ADHD); and partially due to the fact that I have a new IPod.

I have been exploring a lot, searching the podcast library for things of interest. Looking for the usual stuff--French and Hebrew podcasts (my languages of choice)--and things to entertain me. So I started looking at the political and history podcasts; it has never been said that my idea of entertainment is normal.

One of the podcasts that I stumbled across was Hardcore History, a podcast put together by Dan Carlin. One problem with history is that it can be boring, especially when it is talked about by professors. Carlin is not a teacher of history; he is an euthastic student of history. Because of that, he talks about the parts of history that fascinates him, rather than dry dusty dates.

And at the end of one of the Hardcore History podcasts, there was a mention of the other podcast that he does--Common Sense, a political podcast. I think that Carlin's ideas about politics and what really is going on to be interesting.

I know that some people will point to Carlin as proof that allowing people to make podcasts is like giving every lunatic in a tin hat their very own radio show, much like allowing people to blog is like allowing every nutjob to run their own newspaper. But I like Carlin--maybe that is because of the type of person that I am.

Why do I like Carlin? In one of his latest podcasts, he talks about how the whole issue of Obama and his minister is a guilt by association tale cobbled together on a slow newsday; it also helps those who are trying to slow Obama down. Carlin believes that it is a tin hat story; nothing really to worry about.

And in another podcast, he talks about what the founding fathers really meant the right to bear arms to be all about; I understood it. The founding fathers never meant the right to bear arms to be a separate amendment; it serves a greater purpose.

I would go into greater detail, but that would rob you of the joy of listening to Dan Carlin yourself. So go hop over to the Itunes Store, or Dan Carlin's website, to download these great podcasts.

My Reaction to the 2008 State of the Union Address

I just put up my reaction to President Bush's 2008 State of the Union Address on Associated Content.

Hillary Clinton speaks at Auraria campus

As some of you may know, Hillary Clinton spoke at a political rally at Auraria Campus on October 23rd. Thanks to the fact that I am currently taking Intro to Political Science, I ended up being able to attend.

I have mixed feelings about Hillary. She seemed to be promising a lot that I am not sure that she can actually accomplish. After all, we are talking politics here; other people have a say (vote) in what is actually going to happen.

Anyway, I wrote up an article and submitted it to Associated Content. They offered me five dollars upfront payment for exclusive right. Yes, it was a low amount and I took it.

Was the article worth more? Maybe. Maybe not. If you like you can read it, and judge for yourself.

Hillary Clinton Talks About Her Goals for America at Auraria Campus in Denver, Colorado.

The issue I would like to talk about is "Was it correct to accept the five dollars?"

My answer is yes; it was the correct decision to make. My reasoning behind this is that one I spent the time listening to the speech, and I did take notes.

In part, that was because Roy (he wants us to call him Roy), William Staliwe--my political science professor, was willing to give us extra credit for a one page summary/reaction paper. I am all for the extra credit. So I had notes from that.

And I figured that the worst that could happen was that I would have to settle for performance pay only. So five dollars, though I was hoping for more, was better than nothing.

It only took me a couple of hours at most to write. So less than minimal wage unless I get a lot of page views.

Yet, I have some friends who would automatically say that I shouldn't have accepted this offer. And whenever I talk to them, I sigh. Because as much as they want to make their living as writers, I am not sure that they understand the concept of treating writing as a business. These are the same writers who have given up on Helium, and view Associated Content with some contempt. They are looking for the big score, rather than focusing on what they can already accomplish.

It is not like I didn't get paid for it. I recieved five dollars though paypal for my effort.

And it was a sunk cost already. For those who have not taken economics, a sunk cost is time and money that is already spent. From an economic viewpoint, sunk costs should not have any bearing on correct decisions. If you spend a couple of hours writing a piece, after a hour of listening to a speech, and they only offer you five dollars, you should take it. Unless you know of other markets for it. In my case, I couldn't think of any markets that I had an in with already, so I had a choice between five dollars, or nothing, for a story that had a limited shelf life.

I took the five dollars. Because some money is better than no money.

No one said that being a working writer was going to be easy (except those who have never been working writers, but that is a whole rant for another time).