Author (Zealot's Dictionary)

Author: Someone who has completed a piece of writing and has submitted it for public ridicule. A legitimate author publishes his work only on paper through the slavery system of a publishing house which requires a decade of effort on the author’s behalf for the privilege of attempting to sell a million copies in a three day period in order to be allowed to waste another decade of their life. All authors get paid a penny per copy sold. Successful authors are considered to be so by the virtue of luck; their claim of a decade plus of hard work is merely a cloak to hide the fact that they spent all their time watching television and eating bon-bons. Unsuccessful authors write in crayon and cannot even convince their mother to buy a copy of their book.

[All the Zealot's Dictionary definitions are available in a single ebook on Smashwords--just 99 cents. Remember if you buy it on Smashwords, you get access to all future expansions...because we know that new definitions are sure to happen simply because of human nature.]

Camp NaNoWriMo June 2012



Camp NaNoWriMo June 2012

As many of my friends know, for the last few years I have attempted to "win" the annual NaNoWriMo that is done in November. And by winning, I mean that I have attempted to hack out write fifty thousand words in the space of thirty days. So far, I have lost every year...by about the same amount of words that have been needed for the various college and university term papers that I have been required to write.

But this year, for those of us who are swamped during November, there is Camp NaNoWriMo. Or Camp Insanity as I am going to call it. Yes, I plan on writing a very bad novel this summer...even if I am eaten by bugs and poisoned by ivy.

My working title is Asteroids and Axes. It is a working title; who know what it will be by the end of the month.

And my plot?

Mankind is colonizing the solar system. The asteroid ore pod Molly Brown returns to Earth transporting its precious cargo of metals back to a resource hungry planet. It is also carrying a surprise in the form of an unidentified astronaut. A dead astronaut. A murdered astronaut.

I am not sure if that is enourgh of a plot, but that is all I have right now. Why? Because I just learned that Camp NaNoWriMo starts in a couple of hours (mountain time that is). And this is a last second attempt to make sure that I actually crank out a novel this summer...I will explain that comment later (let's just say that I am not pleased about the fact that my semester is still not over yet...long story involving paperwork).

Mad Uncle Morgan

Today while avoiding working on finishing an illustration for the ritual book, ignoring the fact that I have yet to write the text to go along with the illustration, and completely failing to struggle with the plot point that is messing up the science fiction mystery that I am writing, I came up with a new character--Mad Uncle Morgan.

And I am so going to use him for something.

I don't know--am I a frustrated comedian or what?!

Mad Uncle Morgan is that person who tries to sell you fairy success dust (think fairy sh**), unicorn wands (perfect for the ladies), and thistle poppets (because we all have that special person in our lives). I figure it will be good for a laugh or two. I mean we all know this loon...and he really needs to make some money this summer, and his wife does want him to get rid of all the thistle that is growing in the garden.

So get your money ready because everything must go during the summer bonfire sale.

My current project list

Last week was the last of the current college semester. I am still not sure how well I did...I am not really sure that I can summon up the energy to care at this point. It may or may not have been my last semester as an undergrad; there is still that question hanging over my head (an ugly advising issue).

As I slowly recover, I am kicking around my current project list.

I have decided that I need to get more stuff up on Smashwords. I would like to get some more magical and Golden Dawn stuff up. Towards that end, I am doing a rough draft on a book on secrecy; I am using the rough drafts as posts on my Gleamings from the Golden Dawn blog. There are a couple of sections that may not be posted online before the ebook goes live...howevver long that takes to accomplish.

I should also really consider revising my Three Officer GD Neophyte Ritual book and getting it back up during this production cycle. Also in the works is an ebook on the abusive behavior that one occasionally sees in esoteric groups...yes, it inspired by behavior that I recently witnessed this last cycle (really, it is a good idea to give the entire product line of a writer one star reviews just because you think that they might be talking about you in one of their books?! and furthermore, it is even better for your entire Order to do so?!).

I will be writing more erotica...because it is the best selling stock I have in my product list at the moment. Yes, I am being driven by the need for money. Plus there is the fact that I am going to be applying to a masters program (or two); and if I get in, I will be fighting the smae lack of writing time problem that I have been struggling with for the last several years. Erotica is something that I can write that does not require extended attention.

And yes, I am hoping to get some regular fiction done this cycle (either science fiction or urban fantasy). It is what I would prefer doing...except that it is hard to write an entire novel when the time between writing the chapters tends to be three months (it is hard to maintain the flow...or even a single plot point with this type of temporal gap involved).

So that is what I have planned...outside of taking regular pottery and jewelry photos (which is what I should have been doing today). Wish me luck.

Fun filled Windows update day

Today was a fun filled Windows update day. I haven't had one filled with this many problems for months.

So why was today's especially frustrating? Friday the 13th? No.

It was because I was supposed to be working on the rough draft of my History Senior Seminar paper today.

So naturally, given the fact that I am focused to use this dino-computer (my laptop melted a couple of months ago), it would have to be a extra special update day when I needed to be able to use the computer the most.

*sigh*

Another damn semester

Well, it looks like I am going to be stuck at college for one more damn semester. Between serious doubts that my English requirements have been met (departmental difficulties) and the fact that a single class has sucked in all my time...well, as I said, it looks like I am not going to be graduating this semester.

For those of you who are curious, the class that has been sucking in all the time is a history class. It is thy capstone class---Senior Seminar in History. This is the first week this semester that I have not been at the library digging though a box of government memos...since week two of the semester. Every spare day that I had I have been at the library...I spent 30 hours there during spring break. It would have been 35 if they wouldn't had a furlough day. I have a folder two inches tight with single-spaced typewritten notes, and last week I finally hit the point where I think I have enourgh to support a twenty-five to thirty-five page paper.

Plus, for the past two weeks, I don't remember a day without a headache...actually, it has been longer than two weeks, but I am having a hard time figuring out when the headaches begin (I go to bed with a headache, I wake up with a headache, it is a constant thing). I have lost ten pounds this semester, and we all know that I did not actually have any weight to spare to begin with. My wife does not remember the last time I looked, or sounded healthy. And no, I do not have health insurance or enourgh money to go see a doctor. I am hoping that it is stress.

There are a few other things going on that I can't talk about.

I have thrown every class I am taking other than this senior seminar under the bus. I am currently trying to figure out if it is too late to drop Honors Thesis (Literature), or if I am just going to have to take an F in it (Senior Seminar sucked up all the time and energy I had.) Along with my business---under the bus, it went. And this semester saw the loveliness of the PayPal Forbidden Four drama and a rather nasty campaign against a fellow writer in the Golden Dawn community.

(And we all know that writers cannot afford to toss their businesses under the bus. The only nice thing I have to say is it is a good thing I am self-employed or I would have fucked one of the easy classes I am taking. Yes, I am having trouble surviving the two easy classes---it is going to be touch and go as it is.)

Basically, it has been solid stress this semester. You know that it is bad when you think about stepping in front of the lightrail train.

Well, I would love to sit here and complain some more, but I have sixty pages of rough draft to read from classmates for today's peer review session; and yes, that is also the same damn class.

Let me use some vile language

As many of my regular readers know, I occasionally comment on the doings of the modern Golden Dawn on one of my other blogs. And someone just informed me that in one of my recent posts that I used the vilest language to describe one of the players and their esoteric Order.

The first thing to go through my mind? This person has never worked on a construction site.

If he thinks that my language is vile now, he should have heard me a couple of decades ago. I guess ghost-writing Russian Bride adcopy, dabbling in the erotica market, and the language my father used to use makes me insensentive to what other people consider vile. Several years of restaurant management has cleaned up my language...but I am capable of much worse.

Of course, I must admit that I think some pretty vile language when I think about this particular person and their friends. I cannot help it. My fellow writers will understand---this is a person who asked his friends to give a writer a bunch of negative one-star reviews on Amazon because the writer's opinions did not match his own.

But we are not supposed to use the words "fool" and "cult" to describe this person, their friends, or their behavior because they are the vilest words in the English langauge. Especially because people like me have been busy trying to destroy his Order for twenty years.

(I honestly didn't think he needed to be destroyed before last week...now, I am deeply offended as both a book reviewer and a writer, so I might have to change my mind.)

Let's just say, I have a whole bagful of vile langauge that I have not started to use yet.

On the bright note, I plan on using this to officially renounce my Golden Dawn membership...if the local lodge will accept my notice (they have told me to stick my resignation in my ear on a couple of occasions).